I tend to be a person who gets mired down in thoughts, be it caught in a cycle of what should be for dinner, or as out there as wondering if my entire existence can be reduced to a marble in an alien’s game (cue Men In Black reference, which blew my mind when I was a kid).
Striving for more seems to be at the very root of human nature. Something more meaningful, more grandiose than our current circumstances. One of my favorite pastimes is diving into deep topics with friends who love the same. However, when in a recent conversation I blurted out “What if every atom in my body is a universe?” it prompted the response of, even if that is true, does it matter?
Does…it…matter?
I remember being married, and every so often I’d lose my husband when he’d get lost in the existentialism of it all. I could never understand at the time, but as I’ve grown through the phases of my spiritual journey, I recognize that part of him in myself now. While there is great beauty to be discovered in the contemplation of the universe, I’m beginning to think that perhaps it is just another distraction of the ego. Dangling a carrot in front of me, deceiving me into believing that there is greater meaning to be discovered outside of myself. There can be tremendous joy and comfort found in these things, however, I am discovering more and more that it leads me away from my presence in the now.
I have spent so much time attempting to assign meaning to the past and ‘manifesting’ my future, that I’ve lost touch with what is occurring now. While these thoughts have their place, it could be said that all we truly have is the present moment. Here hearts beat, lungs process air, everything supports you, every need is met. Even if just for that very second.
Divine presence surrounds you in your very existence. Focus on this when you get a chance to find a brief moment of peace. Feel into the divinity of your heart. Start to do this more often and see what changes occur in your life.
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