Let me paint you a picture: there are children running around screaming, the tunes of Disney and freeze dance blaring from the speakers. Soda is being spilled, crumbs crushed into the carpet, bright red cupcakes smashed onto faces. The boisterous energies of ten tiny humans coming together in the celebration of my child’s seventh birthday fills the entirety of my small living room and kitchen.
As the two hour event comes to end and the last kiddo is whisked away out the doors from which they came, a family member left behind breathes out a sigh of relief and ponders out loud to me “PHEW! I don’t know how you stayed so calm and peaceful during that! I would have been an absolute mess!”
In that moment it hit me; I truly did feel at peace the entire time. I used to look at mothers who seemed so relaxed and in enjoyment while children chaos-ed about, and think, one day I want to be that same way. Ten years ago, I know the person I was would’ve been too worried about making sure kids didn’t leave fingerprints on the walls or that they enjoyed themselves to immerse myself in the experience. I would have been too nervous to welcome and make conversation with the other parents and missed out on the feeling of community that comes with families being together in celebration of life’s milestones.
All of this to say: Maybe I’m doing better than I think I am.
Unlike losing weight or completing a first marathon, there isn’t always a measurable way to see how much we’ve grown emotionally. Changing the way in which you interact with your world is profound, and this moment in time, during a mundane childhood birthday party, I discovered I’ve actually achieved something I’ve been working towards for a long time.
I’m not saying everyone should have a spiritual awakening during a noisy kid’s party, or find enjoyment in such things. When we are presented with an opportunity to step back and say “my life is better because of the way I’ve trained my mind and heart”, we can marvel in the beauty that we have the ability to become the people we desire to be. Sometimes I get lost in the day to day, finding myself brought down and feeling like I’m not enough. It’s those after party-like moments that show me I’m doing much better in life than I think I am.
If you aren’t there yet, or are still struggling in certain situations, from you to me, know there is hope. Hope in small changes that turn into life changing wins, whatever that looks like for you. For me, it was feeling free, comfortable, and confident at a child’s birthday party. What could it be for you?
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